In my family we think of Sept 11, 2001 often because we lost my brother-in-law Robert who was a NYC fireman and because my other brother-in-law Doug, is still (thankfully) in the NYFD. Today, I remembered a letter I had written to family and friends not long after the event. I haven't looked at it since I wrote it, but today seemed like a good day to share it again:

Date: Tuesday, September 25, 2001 5:50 PM
Subject: ground zero

I was scheduled to go with my brother in law Doug and Squad 252 down to "the pile" last night and help out and if possible shoot some pictures of the scene. Doug got rescheduled...

so I went myself... determined to see what has forever changed our lives.

Dressed in an official NYFD shirt and cap and a pass around my neck and in my windshield identifying me as a fireman (provided by Doug) I drove through the barricade of Policeman, Military police and State troopers at the corner of Canal Street and Broadway. I was honest about my intentions and who I was lest I be arrested for impersonating a fireman. They all spoke to me as if I were one of their own. Down Broadway I drove in in total darkness except for the flashing orange and red sirens. It was unbelievably eerie and quiet until the light from the pile started to glow and all the vehicles working began to get larger and larger.

Parked my truck across the street from the side streets leading to the trade center and walked through another barricade of Military guys with automatic rifles. I wasn't present to the street names as I usually am in NYC they all blend in at ground zero all seeming to draw you towards the same place. Policeman are everywhere as are the volunteers and workers but it's strangely quiet except for the sound of the generators for the lights and equipment.

As I rounded the corner to ground zero or "the pile" my jaw dropped. the TV crews who are blocks and blocks away cant give you an accurate picture of the devastation. I was standing in a war zone.

All the buildings left standing have no windows and look like someone shot them up with a barrage of missiles. Cloth, glass and concrete hangs from the open gashes everywhere, they are burned out hulks and debris is all over the ground. there is a major pile of debris south of building number 5 that is 6 stories high still smoking with crews in cherry pickers spraying water. It's like midday down there even then at 7:30pm. there is another pile that was the north tower that fell across West street, you cant see down the street because of the size of this "dam" of debris and it would take 5 minutes to climb up it. To the right of that is the remainder of the North tower going up, up, up probably a good ten stories... its pure dirt and is being dug away by a huge crane that looks like a matchbox car sitting on it. That pile extends an entire city block down the avenue and is being worked on from the other side as well. Words cant really describe this scene it's too big and evil for me to describe it accurately.

I stared for a good 20 minutes unable to even then grasp the enormity of the destruction except for the fact that above me was only open space, no towers, it was really sad. It took me some time to reach for my cameras unsure of how to portray this scene. When I did a policeman came over and "suggested" I put it away.

Having been right there has made this whole event a little more real, but it is so mind boggling that I can't seem hold on to it for long. The magnitude alone makes it seem like a bad dream. As I stared at was once a marvelous landscape I also couldn't help but think of Robert as the building came down all around him... and I know he was still trying to save people even as it was collapsing.

Thank you all for your support through this difficult period. Remember to always love your family and friends every single day you are alive.

Love,

Heath